little realizations

So, I’m standing here at this bakery in Downtown McMinnville, trying not to order the things one orders at a bakery, because if I order bakery-like things from this bakery, I might as well give my stomach pooch full on permission to never, ever flippin go away. And then what will become of me? Forget the fear of becoming a cat lady; I’m far more terrified of becoming an angry, bitter old broad who could never see her feet again. First world problems, you know?

So, me and this bakery. We’re cool. We’re cool because I’m ordering nothing more than a green tea latte as I prepare to explore the wilderness outside of town. (And everybody should get away now and again. I'm sure it's good for the soul. Plus my phone loses service and it feels awesome to be unreachable.)

I’m standing there in my white linen pants, minding my business—by which I mean trying to ignore the middle aged couple standing next to me, because if I have to make small talk with one more person outside of my job I might lose my mind. Or if my job happens to come up and someone asks what I do, trying to break that down is just too much for 8am on a Saturday morning. 

Anddddddd just as my mind began to wander, that’s when it happened.

“Hi there, green tea and coffee huh? Must be pretty sleepy!”

He said it with such innocence, as if striking up conversations with strangers in bakeries was the most natural thing in the world.

They were both in denim jackets, hers covered in iron on patches from Jo Ann's or Michaels. You could tell these were the sorts of people who lend their neighbors sugar and say “fudge” when they stub their toe. 

As I forced myself to strike up a conversation with these folks, a thousand thoughts cross through my mind, but the loudest one of all? STOP BEING SUCH A JERK. In a world full of shitty people, this couple was trying to be friendly and here I am trying so hard to not engage and acting like a B word. 

But the more they kept talking, the more I felt my eyes darting to the counter, hoping that my tea would hurry the heck up. Why was I resisting them so much?

Now, I’ll admit, because I am constantly calling, emailing, and digging way too deep into people's lives for a living, when it’s the weekend and I’m in a lonely little coffee shop (in case you are ever in the area, it is the Red Fox Bakery) buying a lonely little drink so I can head out to Miller Woods while I have two measly hours to myself, all I want to do is UNENGAGE. I want to drown out the world with its manufactured bullsh!t and social exchanges and just stand there in line staring at the steam coming from the espresso machine and just BE.

But more than that, I realized that the real reason I was avoiding a conversation was something else; I was becoming anti social in the worst way possible and for a lack of better words, hard.

The kind of hard that comes with spending all of your time working a job you don't love and being away from your tiny perfect human baby too much. 

If you’re not careful, being guarded can start to make you act guarded. 

It was the same kind of guarded I used to hate about getting into elevators at work. I work on a campus of five giant buildings with offices galore and everyone ignores one another put on this stone expression and not say a word except what floor they would like. And there was me, swaying along to the beat in my head, trying so hard to smile and make a connection with every single person who entered. Timeless rejection made it a very pointless thing to do. It was as if I was the weird one. After a while, smiling at strangers felt silly. Almost ridiculous or childish. 

And when this friendly couple stumbled into this shop wanting to chit chat, I thought they were silly and maybe even naive. But mid conversation, it became clear to me that they weren't naive at all... I WAS. UGH!

Because the fact is that no matter what you do for work, what you’ve experienced, what or who you know…wisdom cannot rob you of choice.

It is a choice to be kind.
It is a choice to be friendly.
It is a choice to be open.
It is a choice to offer a smile.
It is a choice to not be a complete A$$HOLE. 

My overall take away was pretty simple; the choice is always up to me and I want to make the one that brings the most good. 

Because while being guarded might protect our fears or mood, being open will always do you some good. I'll take a little humility now than a lot of regret later. 

“you know what Mr. Barista, I’ll actually take a lemon berry tart as well” 

Because living life is a choice, too.

And when life comes in a tiny pastry box full of sugar, you've gotta say yes. 

Protein Pancakes

Again, I will find any excuse to eat carbs, and pancakes are no exception. Protein pancakes are my favorite breakfast to make when I actually have some time to sit down and enjoy them. Some days when I am feeling extra energetic I will whip up a triple batch and freeze a bunch for times when I am craving something yummy. I made some coconut pineapple protein cakes a few mornings ago and boy were they delicious! This recipe is just a for basic pancakes but I will list some different blends I have made and toppings too!

1 cup oat flour
1 scoop vanilla protein
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp stevia
2 egg whites
1/2 cup almond milk

For my tropical blend this week I add about 1/4 cup mashed pineapple and 2tbsp shredded coconut milk and used coconut flour instead of oat flour. You can change it up any way you like and add all the fixings your heart desires.
I like to use lots of toppings from berry compotes mixed with cream cheese to carob powder mixed with some pb2 and almond milk. The possibilities are endless and I want to try them all!

(you can see my stacks on my instagram: @lindseylerae

Strawberry breakfast loaf

With being a new mama, school, work, family, and everything under the sun, sometimes it is hard for me to make healthy choices in the morning. I have my basic breakfast scramble or oat jars, but some days even that seems like a lot of work. What I fuel my body with is extremely important to me and became even more so once I found out I was pregnant. Breastfeeding really steals all of my energy but because I love it so much and want to continue until my bunny is one I make sure to shovel in some serious calories. I am a carb fiend; I have never met a carb I didn't like. They keep me full and give me energy to accomplish everything I must do in a day and you'll never hear about me giving them up.. ever.
I have been experimenting with bread and finding something that I can eat for more than just one day. This recipe is the best loaf I have ever made and lasts about 5 days! Well it only lasted 4 days but that's because I snuck out to the kitchen for a midnight snack and couldn't resist! If you don't like strawberries you can totally substitute them for a different berry or fruit.
Enjoy!

1 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup oat flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 egg
1 cup mashed banana (it was about 2 very ripe bananas)
1 mashed avocado
1 cup chopped strawberries
1/4 cup applesauce
2 tbsp coconut sugar
1 tsp vanilla

Preheat over to 350 degrees and grease your loaf pan. I use coconut oil for everything and this is no exception. In a large bowl combine flours, baking soda, and salt. In another bowl, combine banana, strawberries, avocado, egg, applesauce, sugar and vanilla. Add both bowls together and stir until smooth...ish. Pour into pan and top with strawberries and anything else you see fit, such as chocolate chips, shredded coconut, etc. Bake for 50min and voila! Nom nom nom.

(you can see mine on my instagram account: @lindseylerae)

On the go breakfast cups!

This recipe will make all of your wildest dreams come true! I made them this morning and holy cats! What could be more delicious than a grab-and-go breakfast made from sweet potatoes?  I LOVE sweet potatoes and especially for breakfast!  I found these tots in my local grocery store and decided to pair them up with some eggs and ham. I am all about convenience and on the go breakfasts are kind of my thing! Enjoy:)

19 oz. package frozen sweet potato tots

Coconut oil for greasing muffin tin

½ cup lean diced ham

4 eggs

1 Tablespoon milk

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Coat muffin tin cups with oil. Thaw tots and then place about 5-6 tots in each cup. Mash tots with back of spoon or small glass to form cup shape in muffin tin (I used my hands but that's just me). Bake for 10 minutes. Remove cups from oven and add diced ham and any other fixings you like! Lower oven temperature to 350 degrees. Mix eggs and milk and divi up the egg mixture between muffin cups. Bake cups for 15 minutes or until eggs are set! VOILA! 

So you want a summer bod

Everyone  is  always talking about wanting that summer body! I get messages and texts all the time asking for a meal plan and workout because they are leaving for vacation within a month and need to look good... It doesn't work like that. In my opinion, people should just workout a few times a week throughout the year so they can have an every season body! It would probably make their lives less stressful, I mean, I know it's helped me! Especially with how spontaneous Scott and I are with our love of traveling! Working out used to be hard. I never really knew what to do and I was embarrassed because I would look at a machine or rack and wonder if I was even facing the right direction! I finally started researching with all of my spare time! It's a process but boy is it worth it! It's my favorite hobby and basically my only one. I can't wait to show my little family the wonderful benefits of living a healthy active life from the very start. 

This is a workout I do at least once a week to really target my legs, abs and booty! 

WARM UP: 30 Wide Squats, followed by 10 Reverse Lunges with bodyweight,

then stretching for 5 minutes.

Exercise Sets Reps

leg extensions 4x15

leg curls 4x15

leg presses 3x20

superset with

smith machine lunges 3x15

one-legged squats using bodyweight 3x15

superset with

stiff legged deadlifts 3x20

wide sumo squats holding dumbbell 3x20

superset with

pop squats 3x20

AB WORKOUT

Exercise Sets/Reps

crunches 5x25

hanging leg raises 5x15

roman chair sit-ups 5x25

russian twists 2x40

bicycles forward/backward 5x20

in and outs 5x20

Chocolate peanut butter protein cupcakes

I, like most people, love a good cupcake! I found a recipe and tweaked it a bit to suit my taste and you can do the same! If you prefer a different type of flour or milk, go for it!


1/2 cup of chocolate whey protein
1/2 almond flour
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp baking powder
170g Greek yogurt (serving size cup)
1 whole egg
1 egg white
1/4 cup almond milk
2tbsp applesauce
1/4 cup stevia/truvia
1/3 cup peanut butter

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and mix all ingredients together except for the peanut butter. I used a blender so it was quick and easier to pour into cupcake pan. Fill cups half way and use a spoon to place a small ball of peanut butter into the center of each. Bake the cupcakes for 10-15 minutes. They turned out great for me after 12 minutes!

Healthy poptart/toaster strudel

So I am a freak about breakfast food and love me some toaster pastries! I figured I would find out how to make my own that were a bit healthier and they are one of my absolute fave thing to make when I have time!

Ingredients:
1 large tortilla (I chose spinach)
Handful of strawberries
1 scoop of vanilla protein
Tbsp shredded coconut
1/2 tsp of cinnamon

Peanut butter topping:
2 tbsp peanut butter
1/2 scoop of protein
Splash of vanilla
3tbsp almond milk
1tsp agave (honey is fine but I'm allergic)

Cut up strawberries and put them in the microwave for 30-60 seconds. Mash up as much as possible and mix in protein, coconut shreds and cinnamon. Scoop the mixture into the center of the tortilla and fold the edges so it's is completely covered! I popped mine into the George foreman for about a minute to get it warm and crispy! While you're waiting for it to cool, melt the peanut butter in microwave and them mix in the protein, vanilla, milk and sweetener. Pour it into a zippy bag and pipe it on top! You can tweak this recipe anyway you want to get it to your liking! I've also used this same recipe with Flat Out wraps, a mixture of berries, almond butter, cookie butter, etc! It's super easy and oh so delicious without all of the guilt you feel when consuming not so healthy food.

This is a photo of the first time I made it! Definitely was procrastinating since it was cardio day!
http://instagram.com/p/dPc10_qjEL/

Grocery Staples

GROCERY STAPLES

So I can send you actual recipes later, but this is my list that I use when grocery shopping. I don't buy it all at once but I try to keep all of this stuff in the house!

I don't buy all of this every shopping trip, but I try to keep these things in the house to keep me on track:)

Meat/Protein:
Chicken breast
Ground turkey
Tuna fish
Tilapia
Turkey or veggie burger
Turkey bacon

Veggies:
Sweet potatoes
Celery
Carrots
Broccoli
Spinach
Kale
Green and yellow peppers
Green beans
Snap peas
Zucchini

Fruit:
Apples
Oranges
Bananas
Grapefruit
Lemons
Frozen berries

Grains:
Quick oats
Steel cut oats
Flat out wraps
Spinach wraps
Dave's killer bread (yellow bag)
Quinoa
Rice: jasmine or brown

Dairy:
Eggs
Carton of egg whites
Cottage cheese
Zoi Greek yogurt
Almond milk
Coconut milk

Nuts/Snacks:
PB2 powdered peanut butter
Nutella
Trail mix
Dried/dehydrated fruits
Applesauce
Plain popcorn
Quest bars
Kind bars
Granola

the wiggliest journey.

Growing up I always knew I wanted a huge family, but I never really pictured how it would all happen. Throughout high school and early college life became a lot more clear. I learned who I wanted to be, what I was going to do, and I sort of had a plan as to how I would give myself everything I wanted. When Scott, my best friend first and now my fiancé, returned from his first deployment in Iraq, I knew that big things were coming. He makes me laugh a little louder, breathe a little easier and live a little better. We became best friends in high school for a reason and now I knew why. We have the same life goals and dreams. After a few years of dating we were preparing for his second deployment. I was nervous but I knew we could do it. Weeks before he left we got the biggest news of our lives; I was 7 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend was about to head off to war in Afghanistan and I am pregnant. Terrified didn't even begin to describe it. I had no idea how I would tell Scott, let alone go through a pregnancy and raising a baby without him. I finally told Scott and it seemed as though the world stopped spinning. He made me forget every fear, worry and ounce of doubt I had disappear. The look on his face reassured me that this was going to be our greatest journey together. One simple facial expression ignited the fire in our relationship all over again. This was it. We were finally about to get what we wanted. A sad send off, weekly phone calls, care packages monthly, and 31 and a half weeks later the tiniest, sweetest, most beautiful baby made his arrival. The moment he was born we immediately made eye contact and I fell absolutely in love. There is no possible way to describe the feeling of meeting your baby for the first time. As if that moment couldn't get any better, he is a spitting image of his father. This itty bitty little human is now my lifeline to Scott. His lips, his smile, his deep brown eyes and the way he sleeps with them partially open, Maximus Leroy Rathburn is exactly like Scott and I was elated.
People always made me feel like getting pregnant and being pregnant were awful. They make you think you double your body weight, you'll be sick 24/7, you'll forget things often, your body will ache, your head will throb, and I just wasn't sure I would be able to handle all of that. WRONG. Well there is some truth to that but it is all up to your body. Yes I gained some weight and yes I didn't feel 100% all the time but it was never as bad as people made me believe. Once week 19 rolled around and I finally felt this womb raider kick, it was all worth it. Pregnancy wasn't my favorite but gosh, those little kicks and punches were incredible. I would lay in my bed any chance I got waiting for this tiny creature to communicate with me. Then the end of the third trimester came and those "little movements" had me right on the edge of peeing my pants! I would hold my hands on my tummy and pretend he was high fiving me! I was getting so impatient. I wanted to meet him right away and soon enough, he came into this world bright eyed and beautiful.
Once I was discharged from the hospital I was so nervous. How was I going to do this without Scott? Was I ever going to get to sleep? What if he gets sick? Was breastfeeding going to work for me? My advice now to anyone who is pregnant or trying to get pregnant, take a breath and believe in maternal instincts. Maybe I got an easy baby or maybe my calm personality kept him calm but you can do it! There are times where I'm getting up a few times each night to nurse him and there are times where I just hold him and stare at him for hours at a time. Creation truly is so amazing. I get an overwhelming satisfaction taking care of Maximus and being all I can be for him. He needs me to be the best mother I can be and that is all I think about.
Becoming a mom completely changed my world. My life started the day he was born and I feel as though I am finally doing what I love. I always told Scott that I couldnt imagine being a stay at home mom because that's what he wanted and pictured me doing, but now it seems like one of the most brilliant jobs in the world.