Be who you think you are.

It is so unfortunate that we are all so wrapped up in our own lives to see outside of what we have going on. We tend to put our needs and wants first, which isn't a bad or negative thing, but it makes it difficult for us to have perspective and be objective when the people we love are also going through rough or stressful times. We all like to believe we would be there for our friends and family under any circumstance, but sometimes that is just a nice thought. Plans get canceled, people bail or flake, no one is able to help you move or pack or take care of whatever business you need help with because they have their own issues. It's easy to think we are all such helpful, wonderful people. I am guilty of thinking I would always be available for anyone who needed my help; physically, verbally, mentally, etc. So many times I have chosen not to attend a lunch or birthday party or coffee date or whatever because in my mind, what I need to get done takes precedence.

I guess what I am getting at is that I am wanting to be who I am in my mind. I want to be theoretical Lindsey. I want to go to every social event I am invited to even if I am a little tired, reach out to my friends before I know something is wrong or if they are having a long week, take that extra 10 minutes to call my parents and see how they are doing, finish that letter I've been meaning to send to my grandma, put together that get well soon basket for my sister who has been feeling under the weather, etc.

Becoming a mom has really changed me. I wake up every day, kiss my baby and my guy, and truly strive to be the best person i can be that day. Yes, just that day. I have always been horrible at planning my week, month, year, 5 years, and of course my famous 10 year plan that failed about 9.5 years ago. Trying to focus on each day and the good I can make in just one day has made life so much easier. I feel less stressed and it's no wonder I do. I was worried about bridges before I even tried to cross them (This is turning into another topic so let me redirect this).

I've been trying to come up with a short list of what I think would make me a "good person"... Everything I was coming up with reminded me of people I love and care about. It got me thinking and what kind of stuck was figuring out how to be more accepting and merciful when I am feeling judgmental. I think it is easy to show mercy to people we like and those in need. However, we should also be able to demonstrate mercy and kindness to those we don't feel so warm and fuzzy about.

Another thing I think would be beneficial to my journey and maybe yours is being more open and honest in all relationships. When I have issues with someone I try to bury them and just get over it because I hate being upset, but of course they creep back into my mind and I dwell on whatever wrong doing I think they did and I'm not truly over it. The word "confrontational" comes to mind but I think it has bad connotations. I want to feel more comfortable talking to people about my feelings towards their words or actions without worrying how they will react. Again, my constant need to plan everything in my life includes imagining how conversations will go before actually having them. All in all, be honest about how you feel and stay strong when you’ve committed to a stance.

Compliments. This is something I am terrible at when it comes to receiving. A therapist my husband once talked to told him it will be easier to give compliments when he has learned how to accept them and choose to believe in them. Good people understand that others need praise. Complimenting is not only a good thing to do because it makes them feel good, but it is a sign that we can be excited for other people’s triumphs and general good news. Compliment when deserved, but offer constructive criticism when warranted. That second part can be tricky. I think that one is harder to learn when it is appropriate.

Being generous with what you have. By that I don't mean you physically have to give the shirt off your back (although shout to my friend Sandra for literally taking her shirt off to give to another friend with a bloody nose), a truly good person in my eyes is willing to share their wealth and not just monetarily. We need to understand that the things we possess and the money we accumulate are not worth much without people to indulge in it with. You also don’t have to be a bleeding heart, giving away everything you've worked hard for; rather, be open and generous to those less fortunate in a time of need. I try to pay for a friend's lunch, drink, fuel, etc, when I can because they took time out of their schedule to spend with me. That means a lot to me because I understand just how hectic life can be. I'm not trying to boast about doing a good deed, more like showing little ways I have learned to show people their time is valuable and appreciated. Cards, thoughtful texts, hugs because I'm a hugger, or a phone call works just as well!

Lastly, consistency. I want to make a positive impression of my character on every person who meets me. By being consistent in what we do and believe, we will ensure we will always put our best foot forward and treat every person and situation the same. People like consistency, especially when it comes to people they are in relationships and friendships with. Consistency and communication are so vital in maintaining good relationships. "In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently." -Anthony Robbins

I think that about covers it... For now. A little lengthy and unorganized, so I apologize. I am open to any and all questions, criticism, comments, etc. so let me know what you're thinking!
For more personal communication: lindseyleray@hotmail.com

Transition to Veganism

So. Here is the scoop. Sunday March 20th, 2016 marked the end of my first month being vegan. For those who aren’t familiar, a vegan is someone who abstains from animal products in their diet. Meaning no meat, dairy, or food made by or from an animal whatsoever. My decision to go plant-based was a hefty combo: healthy eating + animal advocacy + environmental protection.  Plus, in all honesty, I was super curious to see if I’d feel any different. My journey into plant-based eating started solely as an experiment brought on by binge watching documentaries and getting incredibly freaked out. ( I had never been exposed to half of the information I had seen and read) You can do vegan the “wrong way” which I found funny the week before I started. Example: Oreo's, some chips, some condiments, etc are accidentally “vegan.” I have become a bit obsessed with nutrition and fitness over the past 5 years and I want nothing more than for my dietary choices to be good for my body and our world. In regards to wellness and the environment, researchers continue to find that cutting out meat and dairy can have an incredibly positive effect on your health and that it’s one of the most effective ways to cut back on emissions responsible for climate change/global warming/deforestation/water pollution and over consumption, etc (which are real issues… even my guy Leo thinks so)

The neatest thing about this transition for me has been all the learning that I have done without having to take out a loan to obtain it. I’m a bit of  knowledge dork, and this gave me the perfect excuse to research and learn more about where my food comes from, both plant and animal based. My advice for you? Do some research. Be intentionally informed. And DO NOT believe everything that you read/see on the internet. BUT Forks Over Knives might be my favorite documentary on this topic ever! This documentary dives into the China Study which was the largest human study into the health benefits of a whole foods, plant-based diet. It is laid out so clearly: eat vegan to dramatically cut your risk of pretty much every major degenerative disease from heart disease, to diabetes, to cancer. This is the movie that truly inspired me. I thought, “What have I got to lose by giving this a real shot?” The answer ended up being a few pounds, not the goal at all but hey, who is going to complain? Not this girl. The personal gain from this past month is the real winner. For lots of, maybe even “most” women, eating healthy is directly correlated with wanting to stay/be a certain size, however lame and anti-feminist that sounds. 

But it’s not only about feeling guilty, it's about knowing what my body needs. And not getting too wrapped up in all the other aspects. I do, however, get to choose what I want to eat. I eat plant-based because my body feels better on a plant-based diet. But there will most likely come a time when my body needs animal products. I will be pregnant again, or sick, or just might need some animal protein.

At this point, I am really starting to feel the positive effects of being vegan. My energy levels have definitely increased. I feel "lighter" and less lethargic or bogged down after eating now than when I ate meat and dairy. I am sleeping better and staying asleep and I think my skin has drastically improved. Although, after the first week my skin broke out with tiny little pimples. Apparently that is totally common for people who make the switch? My body was basically detoxing and ridding itself of all the yucky stuff. Switching to a vegan diet helped me get a better understanding for what “being healthy” actually means. I never really feel tired anymore, I always have energy, and as weird as it sounds, i am kind of addicted to feeling good. 

I know that people are against it, and are not convinced that you can really have yummy, filling food with this lifestyle, and SOOO many people tell me they could not live without their "steak" or cheese or whatever… I just don’t believe that is an excuse. You can live without it. I read a quote that said, “Your taste buds are not more important than another being's life.” That really hit me deep. I also watched other documentaries (listed at the bottom) which exposed me to not only the harm cattle and cattle agriculture have on the environment, but the abuse and torture that animals endure at factory farms. That is not the “circle of life” or “nature’s way"

And yes, I realize most documentaries show the worst of the worst and not all slaughterhouses run the same but I still saw what I saw... it still happened to those animals and I cant just remove those mental images from my mind. 

The Cons to being vegan: the naysayers.

People will instantly become experts on health and nutrition, ask you tons of questions/worry about your intake of iron, protein and vitamin B12. I have done countless hours of research and figuring out how to get all sources of nutrients that I need. I take a vegetarian vitapak from GNC to get things like B12 and calcium. I take a plant based protein powder supplement for days that I have not meal prepped sufficiently, and the list goes on.

All in all, this was more of a "show and tell for everyone asking me about this new lifestyle" vs a "this is how I think you should live your life" post. I don’t believe that everyone needs to or should be vegan. Not that I’m not vocal about loving delicious, real, whole foods, I just don’t want my personal choices to be a determining factor over whether someone decides that their lifestyle is “good” or “bad” 

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask in the comments below! Or you can send me an email to my personal address of youw ould like it to be more private: lindseyleray@hotmail.com

I would love to hear your thoughts and personal stories! :)

Documentaries I think are wonderful: Forks Over Knives, Vegucated, Fat Sick and Nearly Dead 1 & 2, Cowspiracy, Resistance, Fed Up, Food Inc., Hungry For Change, Food Matters, Plant Pure Nation, and Engine 2 kitchen Rescue. 

oh HAPPY day

About a month ago I watched a gloriously uplifting and inspiring documentary called Happy. (Just the start of my Netflix doc binge that I am still on) Everyone should watch it! I'm not going to give away too much, but my main take-away was that the circumstantial things that happen in life only contribute to a fraction (literally only 10%) of your happiness level.  Your genetics make up an immense portion of it (about 50%) but the remaining 40% is tied directly to your intentions and actions.  To me, this is wonderful news because it means I can do things to directly effect my happiness level and just another reason my journey through intentional living is warranted!


A few things that will set you off your path to happiness...

• Comparing yourself to another
• Forgetting to express gratitude for what you ALREADY have
• Seeking approval from others (Be confident in your decisions)
• Speaking ill of others or putting others down due to insecurity
• Not setting goals and identifying issues as problems vs challenges

So forget what I said about  not wanting to give too much information, but despite my optimism and rose-colored glasses, I also like to think that I am sort of a realist. That being said, here is my SPOILER ALERT!  You've been warned. If you're still reading, I assume that this means you don't plan on watching this movie, so shame on you. This is unfortunate because I want to contribute to Americas Gross National Happiness (that's a real thing- it's in the movie and it is fabulous) I will share with you some of the specifics from the documentary on how to increase your happiness:

•  Play (because you're only as old as you feel)
•  New experiences (there is a traveler, wanderer, adventurer in all of us just dying to get out)
•  Physical Exercise (look good feel good, am I right?)
•  Friends and family (self explanatory)
•  Helping others (no one became poor by giving)
•  Appreciation (ALWAYS)

Sorry for the side commentary but I try to add a bit of my personality into my blogs and I always have a little blurb about everything. BUT... Pretty simple.Very important. Now move forward and just be happy! And yes, I know today is Monday. Even more reason to push this joyful agenda.

"Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff"



(I will also add a little post soon of all the documentaries I have recently watched and ones that I think are worth a view)

Intentional Living

Recently, I discovered a friend of mine had started a blog a few months back and after reading through her posts (multiple times... As in like 7 or maybe even 9) I had this overwhelming feeling of needing to make changes. It was the most intense thing I have felt in a while and almost like I was hit by a theoretical sign. Right to the forehead. 

I think it's easy to say you want to make changes and it's even easier to forget the journey you're trying to embark on because reverting to your old self seems to always come out victorious. I have tried to make changes towards self love and have failed too many times to count. It's corny and cliché, but the things that are hardest and take the most time usually end up being our greatest lessons and biggest blessings. (Bachelors degree, pregnancy/labor/birth, deployments, and motherhood are just some examples from my life)

The next step in my life needs to be a big one. I want to truly be the best version of myself in every sense possible. I need to eat like I love myself, speak like I love myself, act like I love myself, and be in love with myself. Not in a narcissistic way. The opposite actually. I want to be so aware and content with who I am that I no longer worry about myself. Taking care of myself should be like breathing; instinctive and effortless. I'm not giving myself any more time to tear me down in any aspect. 

My next step is to make others feel as important and loved as possible. I want to put my focus on being kind, gracious, and sympathetic. Compassion is something that needs to be emphasized more in our lives. People love and need to know that they are doing great things, so why not be the one to boost their confidence a little? I mean, isn't that what we all want? To do something we love and enjoy doing with some reassurance along the way. Kindness is contagious and it doesn't cost a dime! 

With that being said, I really want to focus on us ladies. We are so hard on ourselves and each other. How did we get to this point? We all know how hard life can get sometimes, yet we are so quick to put each other down. This isn't true for everyone, though. There are so many inspiring and uplifting women in my life who encourage me and others around them to want to be better. I love when women love themselves or are learning to, and inspire other women to do the same. Plus you never know, people may surprise you. I've had my fair share of surprises in the past week, both good and bad but life is all about balance, right?

I want to make a difference and I am going to start by accepting people for exactly who they are and going out of my way to love and help anyone who will let me. (So motivational speaker-esque, I know but I have this urge to open up and live with intention okay?)

        2016 already seems so bright. 

Clarity through minimalism

I'm on a never ending journey to find myself and what makes me happy. In this stage of my life, I have been completely obsessed with the idea of simplicity and minimalism. I want to rid my life of clutter; mind, body, and personal belongings. 

We are CONSTANTLY presented with convenient opportunities to buy more than we need. (I lose my marbles over phrases like, "BOGO", "free shipping", "half off", etc.) There are times when convenience is absolutely worth the price. I could even make a pretty great argument that our entire system based on the division of labor was shaped by and for convenience. With my schedule and lifestyle, it is much easier for me to pay somebody to grow my food, make my my clothing, and build my home than for me to do just do it all by myself. 

Time to be honest with myself. I need stop trying to impress others with the things that I own and start trying to inspire them by the life that I live. Lately I have been incorporating this new mindset into my daily life on just about any decision I have to make. I ask myself, "does this (fill in the blank) add value to my life? How? Am I mindlessly following the newest trend or am I consciously making decisions that will help me reach my goals? Are my passions being shaped by social media, advertisements, insatiable needs, and insecurities, or are they controlled by reason that is good for mine and my family's well being? It hasn't been easy. It's been really eye opening and has shown me a lot about myself. 

I think that with this chaotic schedule I have and being a mom but also a young professional in a corporate environment, it puts a lot of pressure on me to prove to everyone that I am serious about being professional but also being put together as a mom/wife. I want to look the part, play the part, and just be all of it without falling apart. How have I not caved into all the pressure? It is just constantly reminding myself that I don't have to do what everyone else is doing, and I don't have to live up to unobtainable expectations that always put on myself.

 I know that there's a chance I will not have time for everything I want in life, so I need to make choices. Choices including my family, finances, career, and the people I allow in my life. That last one is important. Who you surround yourself with is so important. Some are there to bring out the you the best in you and make you the best version of yourself, and some, no matter how bad you want them in your life, they may be toxic. Toxic relationships will always bring you down and are the hardest ones to cut loose. 

At the end of the day, I just really want and hope I can make choices that come from a deep sense of who I am, who I want to be, and who I will be for my family. I want clarity. 

Diets & Gimmicks

I've said it once and I'll say it again; people are constantly asking me what I eat for every meal and want to mimic my meal plans, or I get asked how I stay lean/thin. I am a short, petite girl and the amount of food I eat to nourish my body is going to be different than what is good for yours. 

My blood type is O Positive and that really affects the types of food I should be putting in my body, and certain foods to avoid/moderate. Blood type O ancestors were said to be aggressive predators, with that being said, type O does well on a high protein diet of lean, organic meats and dark, leafy greens. Vitamin K is really important for my diet because type O blood is missing some clotting factors which vitamin K provides. There are a lot of other dos and donts in regards to eating for your blood type, so lucky for you there are websites and books jam packed with more information about your type. 

Diet pills, weight loss shakes, skinny teas, wraps, whatever. The answer is no. No I do not use any of that garbage. Drinking a shake to lose weight is the strangest thing I've ever heard. Of course you're going to lose weight when you cut your calorie consumption by more than 50% and replace it for a meal. Is that weight going to stay off? Probably not. Are you going to feel full? Maybe, but probably not. Don't get me wrong, Im a shake/smoothie fanatic, but I like them in addition to other food or even as a snack if i am on the go. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just eat whole foods and limit sugar/sodium. Not only that, but be active. Test your body. Challenge yourself. Go outside. Create a goal and flippin crush it! Just a hunch but being lazy IS NOT AS COOL AS TREES OR SOCIAL INTERACTION OR GETTING TOUCHED OR TOUCHING OR FROLICKING OR TEA TIME.

Each week I am working 50+ hours a week, getting in 4-5 workouts or 5-6 hours in the gym, Im a mama to the sweetest baby, I volunteer weekly at the local women's shelter, and I still find time to buy and make foods that are good for me. I need the vitamins and nutrients to keep my body fueled and ready for the chaotic schedule I have. That doesn't even include time with Max and Scott, family, friends, or keeping up the house. Don't give me any excuses. If you don't care, I won't care. 

Everyone has the same amount of hours in the day. Choose how you want to spend them. And start little. Going cold turkey has an incredibly low success rate and isn't realistic in regards to your regular diet. You aren't punishing yourself, so stop acting like it. Sure you'll be tired, but boy will it be worth it. 

Typical work day

With better weather only a few months away, so many people have been contacting me about losing weight, what I eat on a daily basis, toning up, and everywhere in between. I'm not a certified nutritionist or personal trainer, so I really don't like telling people exactly what they need to eat. What works for me may not work for you because our bodies are all unique and process food in different ways. I never claim that my workout regimen or meal plans work, but I am all about sharing anything and everything that has been beneficial for me.

With that being said, this is a pretty basic work day lineup. I start the morning with green tea and lemon wedges and drink it while I get ready because 5:30am is just too early to eat. Then for breaky I usually have eggs/spinach/banana or overnight oat jars. This one is rolled oats, peach Greek yogurt, frozen mango, chia, hemp hearts, and goji berries. (My mouth is literally watering typing this out) OOIAJ or overnight oats in a jar are my favorite because there are endless, delicious combinations and they are easy to take on the go. Moving on, I always need a snack before lunch and that's usually some sort of fruit and nut spread. Today is sliced apples with cinnamon and almond butter. Studies show that cinnamon helps boost your metabolism, so I tend to put that and cayenne on anything I can. Lunch is usually a wrap, whatever soup or roast I made that week, chicken/veggies/quinoa, half an avocado/tuna, or today's; chicken Apple sausages/peppers/avocado. I usually work out after I eat lunch, so my snack between then and dinner is almonds/trail mix and a protein shake. 

Wow this was long. Sorry guys! But in the end, I don't count calories, I count nutrients. Whole foods make your body happy and I know the way my body looks and feels directly affects my mood. Who doesn't want to be in a great mood?